Halfway...

Halfway through the journey comes a twist
The happiness and excitement are gone
In comes sadness and anxiousness
As I watch the rising and setting of the sun.

The wait seems longer now than before
The nights alone are gloomier
Nothing drives me to be cheerful
For I get scarred over and over...

Love lost...

Why do I feel so betrayed?
It's as if I deserve it...
Be the one to tell if I do,
Then I'd move on and accept it.

I keep on falling for the same trap.
Over and over, I'd feel this way
I'd have to learn my lesson soon
Or end up being unhappy and dismayed.

A broken promise, a broken vow
That's what this is all about.
I thought the foundation is strong
But the weaknesses all came out.

I expected Love to conquer all
That's what I believe in
But I guess Love just got tired
For in life, one can't always win.

Thank you...

Thank you for being honest
For telling me how you truly feel
For reassuring me you'd always be there
Through thick and thin.

I enjoyed our conversation
The exchange of lovely words
For professing your true emotions
Amidst our place in the world.

You've given me more than a ray of light
And for that I am truly grateful.
You've lifted my spirits so high
And I love you more than ever.

I find myself smiling now
Despite the distance between us
All because of our great love
And that in the end, it'll still be us...

I need you...

I need someone to talk to
Someone who'll understand my sentiments
Someone to hold my hand
And keep me safe in this darkness.
I feel so lost and hopeless
Not knowing where to go
Hoping for a sign
That I can make it on my own.
I need you to be that person
Who'll give me assurance and warmth
Who'll wipe away my tears
Saying we'll never grow apart...

Bothered...

Here I am again...
Trying to release what I'm feeling inside
And it still stands...
That I wish you're by my side.

Same old scenario--
The radio turned on to break the silence
As I lay in this bed
Praying to Him to shed some brightness.

There aren't any words
To really explain my true emotions.
Even as I journal them daily
They're still inside causing much commotion.

I'm really bothered by all this
This is way beyond my league
I wouldn't know what to do
If ever you'd decide to leave...

Fears...

Why do I feel this way?
Why does it hurt so much?
It's as if I'm trying to cope
With a loss of a loved one.
The distance is killing me slowly
Something I truly cannot handle
The time is another factor
Which I cannot push to go faster.
I'm afraid of where this would lead us.
Truly scared of the worst possibility.
We might end up changing ourselves
And drifting apart totally.
It's hard to convince myself
That the connection between us is strong
A very tiring effort indeed
But I'm hoping still that I'm wrong...

Distance...

You are halfway around the world
Vast lands and seas are between us
Can you just imagine how hard it is
To overcome this distance?
I love you so very much
And that's what I hold on to
But it's rather difficult that I'm here
Waiting for you to say you love me, too.

I'm crazy...Feeling sorry for myself...

For a time I was laughing
But for the most part I am lonely
Wishing that Time would be so kind
To just fly by so fast--in a hurry.

I know I should be helping myself
Believe me, I'm trying my best
But I can't fool myself nor can I lie
That everything is okay and I'm fine.

If only I could fall in a deep sleep
Long enough while you're away, I would.
This is just so hard for me to bear--
Thinking you should be here, not there.

Love really has its ways--
It can bring two people together
But it can also bring them apart
To test if they belong to each other.

I hope and pray...

I've been trying to live on a daily basis
Not knowing what to do on the morrow
Trying to survive the long hours of the day
Conquering the sadness and the sorrow

You are always my strength
You've always been my inspiration
Keeping my spirits alive
Oh, Lord, help me in this situation

I pray our love will grow stronger
Amidst the distance, the separation
And upon your return to me
I hope things will be better as you envisioned

I have nothing...

All the love is cooped up inside of me...Waiting to burst, waiting for you.
I feel so uneasy and anxious...Just thinking how long the wait will be.

As of the moment, I have nothing--Nothing to smile about nor to laugh at.
It's as if my life's monotonous, uneventful...For you are my everything.

Constantly, you're on my mind...

I never thought it would come to this.
Never have I imagined we'd have time apart,
Nor will I feel so devastated
Knowing you'll be somewhere very far.

I believe in us--in what we have.
I believe our love will conquer all.
But what I want to believe in is...
Do I have enough strength to live alone...?

A day without you is a day I feel lonely.
Magnify it times eight weeks
Imagine how heavy and frustrating
The burden of missing you will be.

I've been trying to put on paper my emotions.
But I can't really capture the depth.
You are missed, that's the bottomline
And I'll love you dearly till the end of time...

Someday...

Counting the days till I see you,
Anticipating the joy and the happiness.
But until that moment comes,
I'll forever be embraced with sadness.

You mean everything to me.
Cliche as it sounds but it's real.
To be away from you just brings me to tears.
Hoping you'll be home when the sun appears.

Emptiness is all I feel inside.
Trying to cope with the sudden loss of you.
But I know you'll return to me someday,
And we'll be smiling and be forever thankful...

If only...

It's been ten days since you left.
I still feel shattered and depressed.
It seems like yesterday when I had to let you go.
All because I love you that I let you grow.

Yes, I've had my share of laughter,
From being with my friends from different circles.
But you're still in my mind and heart,
That I'd choose to spend those times with you.

I heard your voice and my heart pounded with glee.
As I have longed for that sound ever since.
I closed my eyes, pretended you were near.
But reality struck and brought me down to tears.

If only I could be there with you, I would;
For in your voice sensed the same loneliness.
If only I could hug you and kiss you I would;
For that is the only cure to this sadness.

Misery...

Since you left, I've had sleepless nights
With tears on my pillow, with you in my mind.
I've been trying to see beyond the misery,
But it's just too damn hard for me.

Hear me out as I say this over and over:
"I'd give anything just to have you here."
I would love to see your face again,
To hold you in my arms; your voice I long to hear.

You're my bestfriend, my soulmate, my everything.
Letting you go is one thing I'd never do.
But here I am...alone and miserable.
For I have yet to learn its value.

This temporary loss seems like forever.
My world just stopped turning when you stepped off.
Now I'm still figuring out how to go on,
When I'm drained of all the strength and hope...

My sun doesn't shine without you...

Listening to the radio to dull the silence
Caused by your absence from my sight.
Instead it makes me more lonely and sad
As the songs talk of how I feel inside.

The tunes take me away to another place--
A place I thought would calm me down.
But I begin to miss the times we had,
When we would just listen and dance.

I wish I took that offer to dance with you
Under the beautiful stars above us
With the music enveloping our love.
How can I let it pass?

I would love to have that chance again.
To be able to move with the sound
To be able to close my eyes and let you lead.
Just to have you here...

I'm mad...

Why does this have to happen? Why now? Why me?
I can't help but question Him for deciding this.
I'm in so much pain, so much anger.
But there's nothing I can do...

You have no idea what I'm going through.
It may seem to you that you do.
But do you feel it? You're only thinking it.
I hate all of this for where it brought us.

It's so frustrating having to wait,
Thinking tomorrow is still not the day.
I'm beginning to get tired of counting
Thinking it has only been three days.

Oh, Lord, please help me day by day.
I can't bear the hurt and all this pain.
Let me listen to what You have to say,
For I want to feel relieved and saved.

You are missed...

As I lay in bed, I think of how your hugs feel.
There's this emptiness all because you're not here.
I miss you more as I embrace your pillow,
Even more as I smell the scent you left behind.

Our home suddenly became too big for me.
Wherever I go, I have memories of you.
All the more I'm missing you as I imagine you here.
Wish you'd return to me soon...

We can't even rely on the moon to connect us
Because we're on opposite sides of the world.
Nor can I gaze at the stars in the sky.
Hoping we'll be wishing on the same one.

This is such a long wait to see you again,
To have you here beside me,
To smell your scent once more,
To embrace all that you are...

I'm tired. I'm sad. I'm worried.

Everyone probably thinks I'm overreacting--including you.
But I'm only being truthful, being honest, being real.
God knows how much I long for you.
He has been the only witness of the pain as I let you go.

I'm tired of trying to release the hurt.
I'm sad because I need you right now.
I'm worried of how much change will occur.
I'm only being me...

I regard this day as one of the worst days.
Seeing you off just tore me apart.
I kept on calling on Him for strength.
Something I know I need the most.

Please help me get through this rough time.
My foundation just shattered, crumbled; I'm broken.
I don't know how to pick up the pieces.
Lord, please help me...