Korean U-K...the best!

Well...here I am in makati where there was supposed to be a Korean ukay-ukay...But it got postponed I think for next week. The reason why I am so hyped to go is the fact that I had the time of my life the last time I checked it out! Man...for P120 I bought four pieces of clothing--two tops, a pair of dressy pants, and a slip dress...(but a friend did better by only shelling out P100 for four pieces!) "Wow" right?! I was really in heaven then...haha! I will wait in vain for the next one...I wouldn't let that pass for sure! (Sorry to my friends I invited over hoping to get that same shoppers' heavenly feeling...don't you worry for I'll make sure of the next one...*mwah*) I used to feel so uncomfortable buying from ukay-ukays but what the heck! They have a new items section for those grossed out to even consider the "specialties of the house"...and they're priced...well putting it in bargain shoppers' term...hellacheap! So...to those who got quite envious of this experience...don't you hesitate to holler for I'd be glad to share it with you! (",)

A song to share...

The first-ever Alicia Keys concert in Manila will be held on October 9 (Araneta)!!! She is truly one of my favorite female singers together with Norah Jones (yeah...I'm into blues/jazz nowadays). The song below has a catchy tune, not to mention its interesting message of the verses about how people's lives are dictated by social standards...and not by one's happiness.



IF I AIN'T GOT YOU

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
Promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
And in a world on a silver platter
And wondering what it means
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

Thinking out loud...

I'm trying so hard to think everything's okay...But my true emotions never fail to surface...All those feelings are so mixed up inside...That I can't help but cry as I miss us...

Past is past...

This pic was shot I believe two years ago at Baracco Cafe in Malate (back in the day when we were really living our lives to the fullest! Friendly friends who join us everyday...you know who you are..hehe). Note how I was chubby then (I refuse to say "fat"...my choice, not yours). Then the wheel turned...for it's Pao's chance at double chin and love handles! Haha =P We're such a sweet couple huh? Who would have thought we would last...you know what they say about couples who met at...ahem...bars..heehee! Y'all know that incident, right? Well if not...I won't tell! Haha =P

The Person I Am Today

***I'll share with you parts of my journal of two years. I recently found it tucked away in my room collecting dust. Reading through it, I discovered how wonderful my life really is despite the constant hurdles, stumbles, falls I encounter in my relationship. It sure does take me back to the past as I reminisce through all the experiences...and then I find myself smiling...(",)

You are more important to me than you know.
And just because you don't hear it very often doesn't make it less true.

Having you for a 'husband' gives me a sense of security...
Now I know you won't disappear the moment I really need you.
Now I know I can be myself and you won't judge me or reject me.
Now I know I can count on you to be honest with me no matter what.

These things I feel to be true. All worries vanish because of you.
Above all, I know it's because you not only want the best for me...
But also the best for us, too...

***That moment was the turning point where I just had to let go of all my fears into committing again as I have undergone enough hurt and pain...(or so I thought..)

Everything is so wonderful.
Everything is so new.
I can't believe this is happening--
A feeling so true.
I've loved before...
Yes, it's true.
But nothing compares
To the one I have with you.
Never been like this.
Never felt this way.
To me you are the world.
And I'd gladly prove it any day...

***Yes, I've had relationships before but I didn't let those stop me from trying again. And it turned out that I'm actually capable of loving beyond the limit I thought I had reached in the past.

Why do people argue? Why do couples find themselves tangled in what seems to be an unresolvable predicament? Why? Where does the hurt come from? Is it because we cease to listen? Or is it the persistent tug of insecurity which causes either or both to fall in a deep pit? It truly is hard to comprehend the twisted ways of life...or love for that matter. Will there ever come a time when love does not entail hurt? I hope so. But if not, then I would have to endure all the hurt there is because that's how much love I have to give...

***I was beginning to get tired of trying to make everything perfect...

The continuous struggle to live and be better lies within me. But the inspiration to initiate the struggle is all because of you...

***This is so true. One needs something or someone to inspire him to achieve. In my case, I needed him the most...

After all I've done, why does it have to happen to me? Why is it that I feel so alone? So unwanted? So depressed? The one true person I love deeply couldn't comprehend what I'm going through. I feel like giving up...no one seems to help me hang on...not even you. I feel so worthless now...not needed by anyone. Why? I don't even have someone to talk to, to listen as I pour my heart's content out. Every night I just flood my eyes with tears in hopes of feeling better. But as days pass, I feel even worse, not knowing the consequences of the weight I'm bearing. If you could please help me...anyone?

All I ever wanted was to feel my worth, to feel important, to feel needed. The whole time I poured everything out--my time, my effort, my pride, my wealth. It was never expected that I'd end up like this...like trash. I never regret it though that I did everything because I truly love doing those. Martyrdom for some...Unconditional love for me. How I wish for my life to arrange its components into its corresponding places. Let me feel my worth...so that I may know my true value in your life...

***Pride--the number one cause of conflicts. I sure had a hefty dose of that! I just didn't want to admit that...which of course brought us into greater dilemma.

It may seem that giving up is the only solution to all the hurt, the pain, the anger. But when you really analyze and internalize things, it all does seem that they're all changes and twists of growth in a relationship. Time really is of essence. But Love prevails all odds. As i think of it, love is neither good or bad. Love is truth...think of it. It depends on how one lets it grow in his heart and how he shares it with the being Love chooses. Yes, we don't decide. Love does. It just is up to us on how we hold onto it, take care of it, and let it grow.

***I then realized that nothing indeed is perfect...nothing will ever be. There is a balance of all things in this world--Yin and Yang. I just needed to understand that turmoil exists amidst the constant need to mask it to achieve happiness.

***I sure had to learn things the hard way...but it was all worth it because hadn't it happened this way, I won't be the kind of person I am today...