Diamonds in the Dust

As I was going through my stuff that had been in my room for years, I realized one thing--I'm a keeper of clutter...a clutter keeper. I guess it started when my mom (such a phenomenal woman) kept and eventually handed me the hospital documents plus both our bracelets (the plastic ones they strap on you when you're admitted) from Manila Doctors--the hospital where I was born :)

I then began holding on to bits and pieces of anything: Class pictures from prep, grade school, and high school days in Zobel. Report cards and honor certificates (okay I admit, I was a geek then). Wallet-sized pictures with generic dedication saying, "please keep this picture as a simple remembrance...keep in touch." Retreat letters, write-ups for yearbook, birthday greeting cards, and simple notes. Invitations and favors from debuts. Travel papers, brochures, and tickets from when we went to Australia and Singapore for volleyball. Cheerleading outfit which I'm proud to say I designed with the help of my sister. Stamp collection. And photos of my "nene" days from class performances to prom night :)

Even as I lived away from home all throughout college, I managed to bring back my books, handouts, and class cards from UP, complete with administration letters and receipts (how I wish the tuition fee will still be the same years from now). Also intact were the thesis materials my partner and I painstakingly accomplished (what was it about again? haha!) Oh...and I still have my DLSU papers to remind me that I should've been a graduate of BS Math majoring in Actuarial Science and Computer Application (or something like that) but I had to refund my tuition days before classes start and be an Iskolar ng Bayan majoring in Biology. I remember my dad (such a great pillar of my life) freaked out finding out that I passed UPCAT without telling him--truly my bad. What hit me was when I opened this envelope containing my NMAT results--it sent me back to the I-should've-been-a-doctor island. If only...sigh...

I also stumbled upon The Box. This came to be when I became aware and involved with the matters of the heart. There I found letters, cards, photos, gifts (even gift tags), trinkets, and all sorts of memorabilia from those I found love (or so it seemed) and eventually lost. I was never the type who'll go all emotional, tearing or burning stuff. Symbolic for some but not for me. I just never saw the point. I am too sentimental. I want to preserve them until...I get married. If only...(another) sigh...

Overall, it was a great experience to have my life flashed before me...literally. I daydreamed, smiled, slumped, had teary eyes, giggled. I realized that all those bits and pieces when they come together constitute who I am. They are what I call diamonds in the dust. Most people pass up the chance to carefully examine life's elements which get neglected, considered irrelevant, and thrown away. They may remind us of heartaches, shame, regret that we don't want to relive but these are just dust. What we need to look for are the diamonds waiting to glisten. Pick them up, dust them, and appreciate their beauty :)

Now that I'm embarking on a new chapter in my life, I felt the need to let go and just hang on to the more meaningful ones which I can share with my baby in the future :)

I got rid of my clutter...in order to make space for baby's. What can I say...I am a clutter keeper :)