Signed, Sealed, Delivered with a Twist

To fill you in regarding my dilemma on the prior post, I managed to shop for gifts in one day--yes, one whole day--which included the long-overdue grocery shopping an hour before the mall closes. I felt a sense of accomplishment despite the fatigue. Upon getting home, instead of breathing a much-deserved sigh of relief, things bought had to be put away on their designated areas. I had postponed the gift-wrapping for the next couple of days because as soon as I saw my big, cozy bed all things seemed unimportant. Good thing I had family presents all wrapped and ready on the 23rd and all the other presents on the 24th. I met the deadline!!!

Then misfortune struck combined with a hint of sadness, a teaspoon of bitterness, and a whole lot of hopelessness...

What are the chances of experiencing the same excruciating pain twice over a span of let's say one month? Ha! In my case...100%. Imagine this: After recovering from the procedure done earlier this month, symptoms begin to resurface. There grew another abscess but this time on my left outer thigh! Thus the reason of my dormancy in the blogging world. Aside from being in pain (again) and my computer going crazy on me, my soul is really dampened with how things are going this holiday season. Enveloped in mixed emotions, I spent days and nights crying and wondering why these things are happening to me and why now...of all times.

And again...a lousy "Happy New Year" greeting to everyone...sheesh...

Panic Attack!!!

OH MY GAWD!!!

It just dawned on me that Christmas day is a week from now...

...which means I should have all the friend presents delivered; it would be nice to open it together with everybody else's and not as a belated one (wishful thinking...I end up sending out belated gifts hehe).
...which means I should have all the family presents ready on the Eve. I find it so hard to think of gifts for those closest to my heart...not because I'm scared of not being appreciated, but because I want them to be meaningful and not some so-so gifts.
....which means I should have been finished with my shopping so as to spend the remaining days wrapping, organizing, and sending them out.
...which means I should be stress-free by now...

BUT I'M NOT!!!

I'm used to having everything set usually two weeks before Christmas--from the presents to the menu to the clothes I'll be wearing on the Eve (I am all that). Even at this age, I still want the Holidays to be relaxed, special, and heartwarming with the works--hearing Mass with loved ones followed by eating bibingka or some other native delicacies in the wee hours of the morning, enjoying the fancy lights and decorations on every corner, gift-giving, the works!

I haven't even bought a single present...I don't even have a list for crying out loud! Aaaargh...I hate what's happening. The misery began with my minor surgery at the start of this month (remember that?!). Ha! Everything about is not "minor" at all...especially what it's making me go through right now! The timing's really off (an understatement). It made me totally immobile for two weeks...leaving me with a week (this week) to catch up on all the chores--laundry, clean, decorate, and everything I put off (mind you, I'm not even done). Then, this coming week will be for grocery and present shopping (good luck to me). Don't even remind me how congested it is out there...I don't have to see it to believe it. It will take a miracle or two to make me come out of this ordeal alive!

Forgive me for ranting...I am severely distraught.

Merry Christmas...sheesh.

Recognize?

[supersize]

Yup, that's me on the cover of JobMarket (Philippine Daily Inquirer, December 12, 2004) for the SPI Technologies, the company where I used to work. They called some weeks ago to ask permission to use me as their model (for a fee, of course) which started the last weekend of November. You'll be seeing me in this section as well as in Manila Bulletin till February 2005 (",)

FreeDAMN!

To those who don't know me well: I am restless--constantly finding chores to do, tasks to accomplish, projects to finish. With this being said, I was the most stubborn patient over the past two weeks (I can't help it!)--in effect, my stitches got torn off my skin and the drain got dislodged out of the slit. Ouch. I went to see the doctor, who was surprised with how things turned out. I remember him saying, "This wasn't supposed to happen." Well, it did. Sorry, doc. All of a sudden, I got scared. I didn't want to go through the painstaking experience again. I begged for him not to sew me up again and to tell me that it'll heal just fine. He wasn't supposed to give in; good thing the other doctor gave me the much needed reassurance (I love you, doc!) as long as I take things down a notch. Pow sure had a hard time taking care of me *hehehe*

At long last...after being sedentary for two weeks, I'm free from lying in bed most of the day, including the limping and the constant dressing changes! I can now enjoy nice, pampering showers without having to evade the affected area (my shower time then was at least an hour for I can't go about my routine without whimpering). I can now easily sit up and stand, as well as go up and down the stairs. Salvation at last!

Recap of the past days:

Sunday-double date: First stop: Super Bowl of China. To satisfy every craving, we went for the combination platter (have you tried their suckling pig? Wow...lovely) along with several equally tasteful, fantastic dishes. They also have this Chinese beer (Tsing Tao) which tastes great and is reasonably priced. Next stop: Old Swiss Inn. My gawd...delectable pies and cakes. It's a chocoholic's fantasy to indulge in their Toblerone fondue--melted chocolate served with fruits, marshmallow, sponge cake. Just thinking about it now makes me salivate...hmmmm...chocolate. Another thing to rave about, aside that it's open 24 hours, is its nice, quiet ambience. Enough...I'm getting hungry.

Monday-wedding: I braved to attend a wedding which, by the way, was a feel-good event (it always is for me). Nice setup. Organized. Great food. However, no alcoholic beverages; it was a choice between iced tea or calamansi juice served in plain straight glasses. Guests had to toast with water in wine glasses and, honestly, people like me looked forward to having wine at such a posh event. Anyway...afterwards, we then decided to head to Capones to quench the drinker's thirst, my thirst, with my fave Kurant-Seven (Wuhoo! I'm done with antibiotics) and to listen to a band playing glam rock. Cool! It was a night of reminiscing, nodding heads, and singing along. Soon enough, we got hungry and craved for a Hungree Burger--cheap but good.

Tuesday-salon: Oh, yes, I allowed myself to get pampered--haircut, hairspa, pedicure...the works! Going to the salon is one of my happy-feeling sought-after rituals, but my gawd...this one felt oh-so great...heavenly! It's time to re-energize and be part of the moving world again.

A message to everybody: I'm back!!! (",)

Reality Bites

I am currently...

• Young -- just a couple of months shy of officially having the infamous quarter-life crisis.
• Clueless -- seeking a fulfilling career after a two-year dead-end medical transcription job which I let go six months ago.
• Lost -- moved out almost two years ago for reasons I'd rather not discuss here.
• Tired -- chores, chores, chores...doing this and that which leaves me exhausted.
• Stressed -- bills, bills, bills...dealing with inflation rates left and right, which then leaves me...
• Broke -- um...sad to say but yup...very self-explanatory, don't you think?
• Weak -- still nursing the wound from the procedure I had a week-and-a-half ago.

But I am...

• Alive -- still have many years ahead of me to try new activities and meet people along the way.
• Growing -- yet to find my niche in the money-making world for I will not settle for a so-so mediocre job just for the sake of having one.
• Independent -- deciding on my own and bracing myself to face consequences of my actions.
• Fulfilled -- having a sense of accomplishment that I can do stuff that are mostly relied on help.
• Learning -- accounting, budgeting, and mastering the schedule of cut-offs and deadlines.
• Surviving -- sacrificing the extra sweets in life but not denying myself of happiness.
• Recovering -- getting better as each day passes.

But most of all, I am...

• Loved -- Aside from family and friends, I am truly thankful to have someone who is so wonderful and beautiful inside and out--to support and take care of me, to be my pilar of strength, to be my greatest fan at the same time my critic, to understand my quirks, to just be there.

No matter how hard I try to convince myself that life sucks, I still end up thinking that am blessed one way or the other. Yes, there are raging waves in the sea called Life, but stop and notice the serenity and calmness as you look further towards the horizon. Isn't it peaceful and soothing that the waves become part of the whole scene? It all depends on where your concentration lies; it's deciding on which direction to look.

I'm not saying I have the perfect psyche to easily shift moods and go to my happy place whenever things go haywire. My point is to accept that nothing and no one is perfect; learn to just...Live and love life! (",)

Anagram Genius

Playtime!!!

Came across this site (click on title) that can generate anagrams. My full name (which I won't disclose for no apparent reason) anagrams to

"Lazy, laudable, eager icon."

Hmm...Let's ponder on this for a while just for the sake of yacking. How can lazy be laudable or eager?! But you know how procrastination and being lazy sometimes produces favorable results? Maybe this is one of those times...or not. I guess I'm a walking contradiction...whatever. =D

So what's yours?

The First Time...

The weather was just right--sunny, but not humid. I was really hesitant, afraid, scared of the unknown. What if things don't turn out the way I expect it to be? The truth is I don't know what to expect at all. We had a long talk as he was trying to convince me while I was crying for I am not at ease with the plan...not at all.

After giving it much thought, I said yes. I learned to trust him that everything will be alright. He said that he'll always be there for me no matter what happens. He held my hand as we entered the room. I was made to lie down, lower my pants, and remain calm. Anticipation got the best of me.

And then it started...

As soon as I felt it, I covered my mouth with my left hand to tone down my noises--tears were rushing as I couldn't handle it. It really made me want to scream out loud. My other hand was clenched; my nails nearly piercing through my palm. I was breathing so hard as I looked away...I couldn't dare myself to see what was happening. I wanted to stop everything but I know it's impossible...I had already committed to it. When will it end? When will this stop? I am in pain!

He then reached for my hand, held it so tight. I glanced at him and saw those reassuring eyes. Soon enough, it was over.

Undergoing surgery really sucks! (Boys and girls...what was on your mind, you naughty, naughty you?! Tsk tsk...hehe) This is a true story...my story when I went under the knife for the first time yesterday. Although it's considered a minor surgery, the pain wasn't minor at all! I underwent what they called Incision & Drainage--literally, they incised and placed a drain--on what they called my suprapubic area. Are you imagining how sensitive that area is? Well, it sure is!

Oh, and the "he" in my story is Pow. He really proved how much he loves me--he was so courageous to watch the entire procedure without fainting and to learn how to change my wound dressing. He fulfilled his promise that he'll be there for me no matter what happens. I really appreciated what he did and still is appreciating the things he's doing for me. (I love you, hon!)

If you'll ask how I am...I'm in pain, under medication, and cannot walk properly--which is the real bummer for I have to cancel all my appointments for this week that could've earned me easy money!

(Sidebar: Just before the doctor was about to "slice" me, a man was brought in. He was not breathing and so stiff [yup, dead on arrival]--the very last thing I would want to see as I was lying there all prepped, draped, and ready to be "cut" huh?!)