Tickle me...please!

This goes to show how extremely bored I am that I find desperate ways to amuse myself. These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from the papers abroad. Allow me to make fun of them. Hmm...makes me want to research what our local writers can contribute to this list...hehe =p

• Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20 -- are they really?!
• Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 -- ahaha! that explains the title!
• Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows: The New York Times, March 10 -- jeez! who doesn't know that?!
• Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find: The Los Angeles Times, November 2 -- they had to research on that?!
• Alcohol ads promote drinking: The Hartford Courant, November 18 -- (shaking my head in disbelief...)
• Malls try to attract shoppers: The Baltimore Sun, October 22 -- (...and again)
• Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men: The Sunday Oregonian, September 24 -- often?! try "always"!
• Include your Children when Baking Cookies -- yummy!
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says -- you have gotta be kidding me...
• Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case -- please explain...anyone?
• Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents -- "hahaha...it's your turn!"
• Prostitutes Appeal to Pope -- hmm...celibacy alert!
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over -- oooh...cross-breed!
• Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years -- how'd that happen?!
• Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better -- let's double it!
• Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store -- antique=old=eeew!!!
• Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip -- a silk one i suppose...

And that's the end of my headline-bashing moment. Now was that fun or what?! Naah...I'm just bored....